Becoming A Pagan...My Journey

In the beginning,I was a young kid forced into religion.
I personally hated going to church and it was shoved
down my throat basically.

There was daily bible reading picture books and
Vacation Bible Schools and all the such.

Once as a kid i was put into a church choir in which
i didn't care for so i started singing obscenities to get
kicked out which i got my wish.

I really took a liking to heavy metal music but was 
forbidden to listen to so i had a secret stash of records
to listen to while my mother was at work.
Alice Cooper.Black Sabbath,Ozzy and such.

I got my first guitar at age 9 and got lessons from my
4th grade teacher Mr.Bosieger.
I started writing songs but because of my religious
upbringing I was only allowed to write songs about
well you guessed it...religion.

My mother drilled into my head that all rock stars
go to HELL,so you can only write about Jesus.
Thereby pidgeonholing me into an unlucrative
market...Christian music wasn't where money was.

In total i wrote 63 songs and spent two years finalizing
a lot of my music and recording some pretty raw music
using a freeware program,Audacity.

I then put it on a website for my sister and mother to 
listen to which they did but i never made any money
on any of it but its for the Lord so i was told.

In 2012 i was talking to a pagan friend about some 
serious stuff and ended up talking to a Wiccan High 
Priest,this made sense since i was challenging myself
to think outside the box that had been built around me.

These talks gave me insight into the reality of it all.
There are 4200 religions on Earth and everyone believes
their way is the right way,i got into some serious thought.

I began researching the history of Christianity and was
appalled at what i had found.So many bad and horrible things
have been don in the Name Of Jesus.

Along with my personal dealings with churches,pastors and
the like ive been rubbed the wrong way so many times to such
an extent i was fed up with the whole thing.

Through my searchings and self reflection I began to realize
Christianity was a false controlling religion.

I was griped at constantly about the clothes i wore to church
the amount of money to give then came the personal attacks  
which i will leave out here.

When i finally was ready to leave the church for good,a pagan
friend gave me instruction for a New Beginnings Ritual.
This Day was February 17 2014
Casting off the old which was Right wing conservative
republican Christianity and embracing the NEW,
The Mother Goddess and Becoming a child of the Horned God.

I did the ritual to my best and told Jesus i didn't want his
salvation,grace,mercy,love or forgiveness.
Upon which time as told to me by other believers i would
be struck dead with a bolt of lightning which never happened.

In fact there was dead silence,i mean nothing from the
other end and I was finally free.....free to live my life on my
own terms and Do As Thou Wilt.

I studied Wicca for 2 years but then put the books down,do I
really need religion at all,I mean the Goddess and God are always
with me and watching over me.....They have always been there 
waiting for me to come into their knowledge.

I did there for a while practice Magik and on occaision still do.
But you have to realize that Magik is all around us,its everywhere.
The magik of spring,the changing seasons,the rain.....the foaling
of animals,birth death,rebirth,the new....

Wicca as we call it now,coined by Gerald Gardner in the 1950's
Predates Christianity by 3000 years and the Runes and Runic Magik
goes even further back than that. I was gifted Rune Mysteries
with Rune cards by my pagan friend which i took to like a duck
out of water and still have them and will cherish them always.

Ive been off doing my own thing this whole time and i found that
I can follow whatever path i choose.

Buddah said it eloquently,There are many paths to the mountaintop
But only a fool stands on his path and claims his way is the only way.

Ever since the dawn of humanity,people the world over have their
own beliefs and ways of thinking.Who are we to say that any of
them is wrong and others are right.

Since being told as a youth that i can only listen to Christian music
i have an extremely large stash of Xian Music,everthing from mild to 
wild and spent years digitizing cassette tapes,records and cd's.

Im really glad I did or it wouldn't have survived at all.
Theres no shame in listening to it as i have some awesome jams
but i just dont buy into the message anymore.

I started buying Xian Metal when i left home and amassed around
half my collection then i purchased all other genres which nobody
believes even exists but it does.

Genres Include: Contemporary,Rock Hard Rock,Metal,Speed Metal
Thrash Metal,Death Metal,Punk,Rap,RnB,Blues,70's Xian Rock,
Dance,Techno,Grunge....etc

I have obscure and very rare stuff....Theres no shame giving it a listen
but it doesn't rule my life or control me.

Its just gets me that i spent my entire life minus the last 10 years
believing in complete B A T S H I T T E R Y

Now ive got a sweet collection of music i was forbidden as a 
youth to have and listen to and a really good collection of
Pagan Music,its all pretty mellow of course but it speaks to
me in ways i cant really describe...Goddess Music,

So in closing,If you are trapped in religion and find yourself
giving your last moneies to the church to do Gods work so your
Pastor and his staff can BBQ prime rib on the grill all the while
you eat Mac n Cheese without hot dogs cuz you gave that money
to the Lord or perhaps you can barely feed yourself while tithing 
your 10% or more cuz remember the more you give the more
God will bless you which by the way doesn't work if youre
homeless,in a mental institution or in Prison,
Then you have been suckered into the trappings of religion.

Peace, BigT